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Late Night ROUNDUP
“Please, give the people what they want for once,” the talk show host appealed to President Trump. “This is our destiny together, you and me. Think about it.”
March 4, 2026, 2:57 a.m. ET
Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Missed Opportunities
In a social media post on Monday, President Trump announced his plans to attend the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner this April for the first time while in office.
“This year, I guess Trump didn’t want to be made fun of by a comedian, so the host is a mentalist,” Jimmy Kimmel said, recalling past hosts — including himself in 2012. “We’ll have a mentalist and a mental case onstage together.”
“The mentalist is a guy named Oz Pearlman. He’s an amazing performer, and I’m sure he’ll be able to predict what Trump isn’t thinking, but this feels like a cop-out to me.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Kimmel then appealed to Trump to let him host what the president predicted on social media would be “the GREATEST, HOTTEST, and MOST SPECTACULAR DINNER, OF ANY KIND, EVER!”
“And I want to address the president directly on this: Mr. President, please let me host this dinner. I’ve never asked you for anything before. Can you imagine? You, me, the commissioner of the F.C.C., all at a table together? Think of the ratings.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I’ll even throw in an award. You like awards — I’ll give you a brand-new award: The Correspondy. The Dondy Correspondy. No one will ever get it besides you.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Please, give the people what they want for once. This is our destiny together, you and me. Think about it. Let’s make it the greatest, hottest, most spectacular dinner of any kind, ever.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Operation ‘Uh, Now What?’ Edition)
“Guys, of course the big story continues to be Iran as we’re in day four of what the Pentagon is officially calling Operation Uh, Now What?” — JIMMY FALLON
“It’s definitely not expanding into an ever-widening regional conflict that puts Americans in immediate danger.” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“But today President Trump took questions in public for the first time since he attacked Iran, and he admitted he has no plan for who should take over the country. Apparently he’s very close to listing it on Facebook Marketplace.” — JIMMY FALLON
“They’re going to have to post the job on Indeed. ‘Supreme leader qualifications: charismatic, proficient in Excel, not dead a plus.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
