3 months ago
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Does it feel like there’s something gauche — maybe a little anachronistic — about New Year’s resolutions? They run counter to the idea that we should accept who we are. That we should give ourselves grace. “Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?” It’s a question that asks someone to believe they are inadequate.
And I get that. My colleague Melissa Kirsch argues that resolutions shouldn’t be so grand that we set ourselves up to fail. Maybe it’s better to admit we won’t improve in the new year — a dose of realism with our Champagne.
No thanks. I love resolutions, and I love hearing what work other people choose to do on themselves. I think there’s a way to be better without believing you are deficient. A New Year’s resolution is an opportunity to give myself a sense of accomplishment. A gift to future me.
I’ve begun writing an annual list of things I want to do in the new year. This morning, I want to write my resolutions with you — and hopefully convince you to craft your own ideas for self-improvement.
That subject — “self-improvement” — is a bookstore section with a million entries. And real scholarship has looked at how people change, or try to. There are techniques that work for anyone hoping to make a change. But for me, I follow three rules.
It has to be measurable. “Eat at home more” might be a resolution, but it’s vague enough that you’ll never be accountable. “Eat at home five times a week” is a resolution.
