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The piece of wisdom I repeated the most this year came from a reader of The Morning who answered my call for advice last December: “We are all juggling so many balls. Differentiate between glass balls and rubber balls — and don’t be afraid to drop the rubber balls.” Everyone with whom I shared this little gem seemed to find it useful (or maybe they were humoring me?). I’m not sure why this particular advice stuck with me — really, it’s just saying “learn to prioritize,” a colorful riff on “don’t sweat the small stuff.” For whatever reason, picturing the messy, ungovernable realm of worries and to-dos as rubber and glass balls helped me think more clearly in times of stress.
Social media is an aphorism machine. Any bit of marginally useful wisdom has been reproduced in a paintbrush font and shared a million times on Instagram or TikTok. I’m reflexively repelled by the commodification of wisdom, but I’ll admit that I’ve been unexpectedly moved more than once by some random influencer who shows up in my feed, their voice urgent and commanding as they gaze right into my eyes and tell me something improbably pithy about boundaries or time or the necessity of letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves (a gorgeous Mary Oliver line, no matter how many times it’s repeated).
The best advice for how to live well, though, comes from other people, from their actual process of trying and failing and trying again. I asked you a few weeks ago for your best advice of 2024 and, as in previous years, your responses were so wise, so insightful and moving that I’m sorry I can’t share them all. I hope there’s some bit of insight in here that will provide you with clarity as you wind down this year and look ahead to the new one. I know there is for me.
The best advice you received
Do something today your tomorrow self will thank you for. — Ava Shaffer, Cincinnati
The real game doesn’t start until the fourth quarter. I take it to mean that you are never out of time, and it is never too late to make a comeback. — Annelise Medina, Los Angeles
People who avoid their own feelings will neglect yours. — Jennifer Pagliaroli, Bethlehem, Pa.
If you have a plant with mealy bugs, spray it with rubbing alcohol. — Joli Holmberg, Minneapolis
Even one step a day gets you 365 steps farther in a year. — Andie Daniels, Charlottesville, Va.
It could be great? — Angela Southern, Pflugerville, Tex.
“Shake the tree,” my mom advised. “You never know what will fall out.” Put another way: It never hurts to ask. I shook the tree this year and some great things came about: a new mentor, a penalty waived for a late submission, a free plate of zeppoles. — Jennifer Suzukawa-Tseng, New York City
Attend funerals for relatives of people you don’t know really well. It is the kindest thing you can do for an acquaintance. — John Immerwahr, Bryn Mawr, Pa.
Stop thinking about your problems and make someone else happy. — Sonja Jewell, Leesburg, Va.
Don’t just put things back. Put them away. — Tracie McGinnity, Rochester, N.Y.
If you’re worried about something that really doesn’t matter and you know eventually you’ll say, “Who cares?,” why not just go straight to “Who cares?” — Kimberly Andersen, Old Bridge, N.J.
Instead of trying harder, try softer. — Martha Bonnie, Phoenix
Everything is better after you stretch. — Tal Hadani-Pease, Sherman, Conn.
If you’re going to procrastinate, do something you enjoy. — El’isha Allen, Abu Dhabi, U.A.E.
It’s never too late to have a good day. — Carolyn Kettler, Kansas City, Mo.
Go to the doctor! — Amy Henning, Palatine, Ill.
The only time you should look in someone else’s bowl is to see if they have enough. — Jess Wehmeier, Indianapolis
Love shows up. — Kathy Fry, Grosse Pointe, Mich.
Some seasons you produce fruit, some seasons you prune, and some seasons you let your roots grow deep. — Jonathan Berry, Berea, Ky.
When someone is interpreting your behavior or actions without a spirit of openness, de-escalate the conflict by saying, “I would appreciate it if you could be more generous with me.” It really works and leads to conversation, not argument. — Kate Fessler, St. Paul
Use up everything in your freezer. — Tess Hartman, Kennett Square, Pa.
The world is run by those who show up. — April Conway, Reno, Nev.
Retire as soon as you can. Time will always be your most valuable asset. — Julie Drew, Akron, Ohio
Get off Tinder. — Will Boone, New York City
If you’re unhappy, do something about it. If you are happy, do something about it. — Kelly King, Pittsburgh
There’s a connection between novelty and joy. — Jacqueline Lovell-Lantz, Sandy, Utah
Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me, now? — Astrid Moresco, Fort Collins, Colo.
Don’t look at your medical test reports before the doctor has a chance to explain them to you. — Melanie Mullins, Walden, N.Y.
Nothing is ever as good as you think it will be or as bad as you fear. — Gail Baron, Charlotte, N.C.
Does your houseplant make you feel happy? If you’re just keeping it alive out of a sense of obligation, let it go! — Mary Ann Carter, Kensington, Md.
Don’t be the one to tell yourself no. — Skye Verhofste, Des Moines
Sometimes the greatest act of kindness is to pretend you haven’t already heard that story before. — Sarah Schroeder, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.
For more: If you like The Morning’s annual reader advice, be sure to listen to “The Daily” on Tuesday, Dec. 31. Listeners called in with their best advice of the year and it’s pretty special.
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Donald Trump wants the Supreme Court to pause a law that could ban TikTok in the U.S., according to a brief he filed.
Two Canadian government officials met with Trump allies about a border security plan that they hope will end Trump’s threats to impose tariffs on Canadian goods.
Tesla’s electric-car sales have stalled, but its share price is up. Investors are betting that Elon Musk will use his influence with Trump to benefit the company.
Immigration hard-liners vs. tech industry leaders: Trump allies are arguing online about whether the U.S. should welcome foreign skilled workers.
International
After Hamas’s Oct. 7 attack, Israel weakened military safeguards meant to protect civilians to more easily strike Gaza, a Times investigation found. (Here are more takeaways.)
Iran arrested and jailed Cecilia Sala, a prominent Italian journalist, while she was reporting there. Iran hasn’t said why it detained her.
A young woman trapped in Sudan decided to help wounded soldiers on the front lines. Read her story.
Other Big Stories
Homelessness in the U.S. reached record levels this year, driven by a migrant surge, housing shortages and the end of pandemic-era measures.
An inmate at a New York prison died after corrections officers punched and kicked him while his hands were restrained, body-camera video footage shows.
The E.P.A. urges farmers to use sewage sludge as fertilizer. Decades ago, scientists told the agency that the sewage contains toxic “forever chemicals.”
Bird flu samples from a person hospitalized in Louisiana showed mutations that could help the virus infect people more easily.
CULTURE CALENDAR
🎭 “Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind” (Tuesday): If you need one more comedy special before you ring in the New Year, you can stay up for this hour from Buteau (“Survival of the Thickest,” “Babes”), an energetic, side-eye-rich disquisition on children, marriage, aging and basic human decency. (This is apparently the first special recorded by a woman at Radio City Music Hall.) Buteau’s special isn’t as brainy, brash or uncouth as others released this year, but there’s a sweetly molten core to her routines, a sense of genuine warmth. “You understand how love works?” Buteau asks toward the end of the hour. Buteau does.