Your Best Advice of 2024

1 month ago 22

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The piece of wisdom I repeated the most this year came from a reader of The Morning who answered my call for advice last December: “We are all juggling so many balls. Differentiate between glass balls and rubber balls — and don’t be afraid to drop the rubber balls.” Everyone with whom I shared this little gem seemed to find it useful (or maybe they were humoring me?). I’m not sure why this particular advice stuck with me — really, it’s just saying “learn to prioritize,” a colorful riff on “don’t sweat the small stuff.” For whatever reason, picturing the messy, ungovernable realm of worries and to-dos as rubber and glass balls helped me think more clearly in times of stress.

Social media is an aphorism machine. Any bit of marginally useful wisdom has been reproduced in a paintbrush font and shared a million times on Instagram or TikTok. I’m reflexively repelled by the commodification of wisdom, but I’ll admit that I’ve been unexpectedly moved more than once by some random influencer who shows up in my feed, their voice urgent and commanding as they gaze right into my eyes and tell me something improbably pithy about boundaries or time or the necessity of letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves (a gorgeous Mary Oliver line, no matter how many times it’s repeated).

The best advice for how to live well, though, comes from other people, from their actual process of trying and failing and trying again. I asked you a few weeks ago for your best advice of 2024 and, as in previous years, your responses were so wise, so insightful and moving that I’m sorry I can’t share them all. I hope there’s some bit of insight in here that will provide you with clarity as you wind down this year and look ahead to the new one. I know there is for me.

  • Do something today your tomorrow self will thank you for. — Ava Shaffer, Cincinnati

  • The real game doesn’t start until the fourth quarter. I take it to mean that you are never out of time, and it is never too late to make a comeback. — Annelise Medina, Los Angeles

  • People who avoid their own feelings will neglect yours. — Jennifer Pagliaroli, Bethlehem, Pa.

  • If you have a plant with mealy bugs, spray it with rubbing alcohol. — Joli Holmberg, Minneapolis

  • Even one step a day gets you 365 steps farther in a year. — Andie Daniels, Charlottesville, Va.

  • It could be great? — Angela Southern, Pflugerville, Tex.

  • “Shake the tree,” my mom advised. “You never know what will fall out.” Put another way: It never hurts to ask. I shook the tree this year and some great things came about: a new mentor, a penalty waived for a late submission, a free plate of zeppoles. — Jennifer Suzukawa-Tseng, New York City

  • Attend funerals for relatives of people you don’t know really well. It is the kindest thing you can do for an acquaintance. — John Immerwahr, Bryn Mawr, Pa.

  • Stop thinking about your problems and make someone else happy. — Sonja Jewell, Leesburg, Va.

  • Don’t just put things back. Put them away. — Tracie McGinnity, Rochester, N.Y.

  • If you’re worried about something that really doesn’t matter and you know eventually you’ll say, “Who cares?,” why not just go straight to “Who cares?” — Kimberly Andersen, Old Bridge, N.J.

  • Instead of trying harder, try softer. — Martha Bonnie, Phoenix

  • Everything is better after you stretch. — Tal Hadani-Pease, Sherman, Conn.

  • If you’re going to procrastinate, do something you enjoy. — El’isha Allen, Abu Dhabi, U.A.E.

  • It’s never too late to have a good day. — Carolyn Kettler, Kansas City, Mo.

  • Go to the doctor! — Amy Henning, Palatine, Ill.

  • The only time you should look in someone else’s bowl is to see if they have enough. — Jess Wehmeier, Indianapolis

  • Love shows up. — Kathy Fry, Grosse Pointe, Mich.

  • Some seasons you produce fruit, some seasons you prune, and some seasons you let your roots grow deep. — Jonathan Berry, Berea, Ky.

  • When someone is interpreting your behavior or actions without a spirit of openness, de-escalate the conflict by saying, “I would appreciate it if you could be more generous with me.” It really works and leads to conversation, not argument. — Kate Fessler, St. Paul

  • Use up everything in your freezer. — Tess Hartman, Kennett Square, Pa.

  • The world is run by those who show up. — April Conway, Reno, Nev.

  • Retire as soon as you can. Time will always be your most valuable asset. — Julie Drew, Akron, Ohio

  • Get off Tinder. — Will Boone, New York City

  • If you’re unhappy, do something about it. If you are happy, do something about it. — Kelly King, Pittsburgh

  • There’s a connection between novelty and joy. — Jacqueline Lovell-Lantz, Sandy, Utah

  • Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me, now? — Astrid Moresco, Fort Collins, Colo.

  • Don’t look at your medical test reports before the doctor has a chance to explain them to you. — Melanie Mullins, Walden, N.Y.

  • Nothing is ever as good as you think it will be or as bad as you fear. — Gail Baron, Charlotte, N.C.

  • Does your houseplant make you feel happy? If you’re just keeping it alive out of a sense of obligation, let it go! — Mary Ann Carter, Kensington, Md.

  • Don’t be the one to tell yourself no. — Skye Verhofste, Des Moines

  • Sometimes the greatest act of kindness is to pretend you haven’t already heard that story before. — Sarah Schroeder, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

For more: If you like The Morning’s annual reader advice, be sure to listen to “The Daily” on Tuesday, Dec. 31. Listeners called in with their best advice of the year and it’s pretty special.

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🎭 “Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind” (Tuesday): If you need one more comedy special before you ring in the New Year, you can stay up for this hour from Buteau (“Survival of the Thickest,” “Babes”), an energetic, side-eye-rich disquisition on children, marriage, aging and basic human decency. (This is apparently the first special recorded by a woman at Radio City Music Hall.) Buteau’s special isn’t as brainy, brash or uncouth as others released this year, but there’s a sweetly molten core to her routines, a sense of genuine warmth. “You understand how love works?” Buteau asks toward the end of the hour. Buteau does.


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