Late Night Laments the Effects of the Longest-Ever Government Shutdown

Television|Late Night Laments the Effects of the Longest-Ever Government Shutdown

Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Heads Up Head Start

As the government shutdown reached Day 37 on Thursday, FAA officials announced significant cuts in air traffic at 40 major U.S. airports during the upcoming holiday season.

“So if you’re traveling for Thanksgiving, you might want to leave now,” Stephen Colbert said.

“Yeah, unfortunately, it may be time to try your new favorite airline: the bus.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“As of now, the best way to travel for Thanksgiving will be grabbing a Macy’s balloon and hoping for wind. ‘Take me home, Spongebob!’” — JIMMY FALLON

Frontier Airlines wants me to get a backup ticket? Respectfully, you’re the backup ticket. — JORDAN KLEPPER, referring to that airline’s suggestion for ensuring travelers reach their destination

“Man, if it turns out people can’t fly home for the holidays, he just might win a third term after all.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to President Trump

“At this rate, by the time the government opens back up, Mike Johnson will have gone through puberty.” — JORDAN KLEPPER

The Punchiest Punchlines (From the Mouth of Greg Gutfeld Edition)

“So do five women reflect all of New York? Is the entire city female? If it were, God help the city if it were ever attacked by a medium-sized spider.” — GREG GUTFELD, referring to Zohran Mamdani’s all-female transition team

“So Zohran asked voters to send him money so he could implement the free programs that he promised. That’s like saying you can have sex with Sydney Sweeney but first you have to bang Rosie O’Donnell.” — GREG GUTFELD

The Bits Worth Watching

The actor Ethan Hawke discussed his new film “Blue Moon” and his television dramedy “The Lowdown” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”