Late Night Prepares for Trump’s U.F.C. Birthday Fight at the White House

Television|Late Night Prepares for Trump’s U.F.C. Birthday Fight at the White House

Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

‘Mango Loco’

President Trump will mark his 80th birthday with a celebration of America’s 250th anniversary at the White House on Sunday.

“Trump is the only 80-year-old yelling, ‘Get on my lawn!’” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”

“And, get this, for his birthday wish, Trump said, ‘Peace for the world.’ Trump was, like, ‘I don’t want anyone to fight,’ and then went back to building a giant boxing ring in the front of the White House.” — JIMMY FALLON

“The U.F.C. fight will be a nice change for Trump. He can go from sleeping inside a sporting event to outside.” — JIMMY FALLON

“The U.F.C. C.E.O. Dana White said the fight will go on, even if lightning strikes, which … If God wanted the White House to be struck by lightning, that would have happened 18 months ago, so I think they’re pretty safe.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“It is sponsored by Monster Energy drink, and could there be a better metaphor for this administration than a giant Monster Energy logo on the White House lawn?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“One of the Monster Energy flavors is ‘mango loco,’ which would also be a great nickname for the president.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Peace in the Middle East is one thing, but a U.F.C. fight is obviously more important, you know? It’s like how Franklin Roosevelt missed the end of World War II to be at WrestleMania.” — DESI LYDIC

The Punchiest Punchlines (Knicks in Five Edition)

“Welcome to ‘The Tonight Show,’ and if you’re a Knicks fan, good morning.” — JIMMY FALLON

“This was the biggest victory for the city of New York since defeating Vigo the Carpathian in ‘Ghostbusters 2.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“It was a wild night of partying here in New York City. I have a feeling a lot of future Knick fans will be born in about nine months.” — JIMMY FALLON

“It leaves them one win away from becoming the champions or three games away from becoming the Mets.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Yep, somehow the Knicks pulled off the impossible. I mean, they actually made Larry David look happy.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yeah, no one saw this coming. This would be like if Mike Pence being named grand marshal of the pride parade.” — JIMMY FALLON

The Bits Worth Watching

Former rivals and forever tennis legends Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova joined Desi Lydic to discuss their new Netflix documentary “Chris & Martina: The Final Set,” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”