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Erika Kirk said her husband aspired to “revive the American family.” Conservative activists wonder if Charlie Kirk’s legacy will lend new urgency to White House policy discussions.
Caroline Kitchener writes about the American family and reported from Washington.
Sept. 19, 2025Updated 8:52 a.m. ET
It was a striking line in an extraordinary address, delivered two days after her husband was assassinated.
“If he ever ran for office,” Erika Kirk said of her husband, Charlie, he always said “his top priority would be to revive the American family.”
President Trump and Vice President JD Vance have echoed Mrs. Kirk’s characterization of her husband’s values — highlighting how their close ally encouraged young people, above all else, to “go get married” and have children.
“We talked all the time about the most important thing you could do is not vote for a particular candidate,” Mr. Vance said on Monday of conversations he had with Mr. Kirk. “It was to become — if you were a young man — a husband and a father.”
Soon after Mrs. Kirk delivered her speech on Friday night, conservative activists began discussing what her comments might mean for the movement to drive more women toward marriage and children. Some looked for ways to refashion their agenda in his image — wondering if his legacy might lend new urgency to conversations with the White House.
One invoked Mr. Kirk’s name on Thursday at an event at the Department of Housing and Urban Development about whether housing policy could be used as a tool to get more people to get married.
And at the Washington headquarters of the Heritage Foundation — the conservative group behind Project 2025, which will soon release a manifesto on raising marriage and birth rates — the lobby this week featured a large screen with a quote from Mr. Kirk: “Get married. Have children. Build a legacy.”
When Mr. Trump first took office, many social conservatives expected the president to prioritize issues related to marriage and family, encouraged by comments from prominent administration officials like Mr. Vance and Elon Musk. The opening chapter of Project 2025 begins with a promise to “restore the family as the centerpiece of American life.” That vision emphasized a concept of family — with a married mother and father who have as many children as possible — that leaves out many who do not conform to traditional structures or gender roles.
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While advocacy groups have been lobbying the White House to enact particular policies to encourage women to have more babies, Mr. Kirk instead committed himself to transforming the culture. He embraced traditional gender roles with a directness that even some movement leaders described as a “shock to the system.” His comments to young women were particularly controversial, as he encouraged them to deprioritize their careers and go to college for the purpose of finding a husband. “We should bring back the celebration of the Mrs. degree,” he said at a conference in June.
Now advocates for conservative family policy are hoping his message will live on. In their mourning, many in the movement are taking stock of Mr. Kirk’s legacy — recognizing that his appeals to young people may help bring about the kind of social and cultural change they have been hoping for.
“Your grandmother said, ‘Get married.’ But Charlie made marriage cool again,” said Kristi Hamrick, the vice president for media and policy at the anti-abortion group Students for Life.
When Mr. Kirk started working to mobilize young conservatives, he was far less focused on issues related to marriage and family than he was when he died, said Kristan Hawkins, the president of Students for Life and a longtime friend of Mr. Kirk. His message shifted markedly after he met his wife and started a family, she added.
On college campuses and conferences for Turning Point USA, his right-wing group focused on mobilizing young people, Mr. Kirk unabashedly promoted traditional gender roles. Women, he said, should embrace their roles as mothers and homemakers, while men should be providers and protectors. In a popular video, he stressed the importance of men picking up the check on a first date. “I don’t care if you have to go into debt, refinance your home or scrub the dishes for three weeks,” Mr. Kirk said. “You do not allow a woman to pay on the first date, period.”
At a young women’s leadership conference this summer, Mr. Kirk warned women about waiting too long to get married. He argued that their chances of finding a life partner dropped if they were still single by the time they turned 30 — a message he reiterated on Fox News just days before his death.
“I would also tell young ladies: You can always go back to your career later,” he said early last week, adding “that there is a window where you primarily should pursue marriage and having children. And that is a beautiful thing.”
Mr. Kirk’s message to young men stood out from those broadcast by other influential podcasters and social media personalities speaking to their demographic — many of whom scoff at the concepts of marriage and family, instead promoting a more freewheeling lifestyle that includes sex with a lot of different women.
“At a time when voices like Andrew Tate are articulating anti-family views, Charlie Kirk was a clear counterexample,” said Brad Wilcox, a sociologist at the University of Virginia and a co-founder of the conservative Institute for Family Studies. “And it’s an example that young men seem to have taken to heart.”
In describing how Mr. Kirk shaped young men’s views on marriage and family, several conservative activists and family policy experts cited an NBC News poll released earlier this month. Young men under 30 who voted for Mr. Trump in 2024 listed “having children” as the most important marker of their definition of success. For young men who voted for Kamala Harris, on the other hand, “having children” was way down the list, the 10th most important marker — after having money and a good job.
That kind of cultural shift “is more important than anything policy can do,” said Patrick Brown, a fellow at the conservative Ethics and Public Policy Center who focuses on policies that could help increase marriage and birth rates. Mr. Kirk, he added, “probably convinced more people about the benefits of marriage than I ever will in my life.”
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But despite the deep connections he forged with men on these topics, Mr. Brown said, it is less clear how his messages landed with young women. While Mr. Kirk’s statements on family resonated with some women, others saw his message as offensive and antiquated.
One high school student at the summer conference challenged Mr. Kirk to explain what message she was supposed to take away from the event.
“It’s a young women’s leadership summit, and all of the women that spoke on that stage today and yesterday were there because they pursued a career.” But, she added, “a key takeaway that I took from most of the speeches, especially on Friday, was that I should, quote, ‘get married and have babies.’”
Mr. Kirk responded by encouraging the attendee to listen to those women precisely because they chose to pursue careers. “Maybe they know something you don’t know,” he said.
Those kinds of statements were a “shock to the system” for people on both the right and the left, Ms. Hawkins said.
“I think the conversation needed that shock — ‘wait, what did he just say?’” she said. “This is a generation that does value directness.”
Now, proponents of what conservatives call traditional family values are hoping that Ms. Kirk and Turning Point USA will throw their weight behind tangible, family-focused policies that the White House could enact in the coming months.
Mr. Kirk recently started speaking more specifically about government policies that could help people start families, especially policies that could help counter the rising cost of housing. This summer, he spoke out on Fox and on his own platforms about how the housing crisis is affecting young families — criticizing investment firms like BlackRock that buy up single-family homes on a large scale.
“They are actually bidding out first-time home buyers and younger Americans that want to be able to have their slice of the American dream,” he said.
Especially as the Heritage Foundation prepares to release its marriage report, several advocates said, some are wondering if the group might join forces with Turning Point. That could create a coalition that, especially in the wake of Mr. Kirk’s death, could hold powerful sway with the administration.
On Thursday, Mrs. Kirk was named the new chief executive of Turning Point.
“It would be amazing to see Erika use her voice to work with the administration on these issues,” Ms. Hawkins said. “To continue Charlie’s legacy.”
Caroline Kitchener is a Times reporter, writing about the American family.
