Stephen Colbert Tears Into the East Wing Demolition

Television|Stephen Colbert Tears Into the White House Demolition

Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Wing Man

President Trump’s renovation of the White House, to make way for a $300 million ballroom, reduced the East Wing to rubble this week.

“As of this morning, the East Wing looks like a rotisserie chicken your dog got into,” Stephen Colbert said.

“Trump has received a lot of money for his ‘ball-doggle,’ from groveling corporations like Amazon, Apple, Comcast, Google, Microsoft, T-Mobile, Meta Platforms and Hard Rock International. Yes, the Hard Rock. So guests of the ballroom get to see all the great rock ‘n’ roll presidential memorabilia like Bill Clinton’s sax and Nixon’s cone bra.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“It’s going to be 90,000 square feet. Ninety thousand is about the same size as a professional soccer field, so, remember, corporations, as you bribe the president, no hands.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Now it would be bad enough if Trump’s biggest priority was building a gilded vanity project for himself, but it’s so much worse because to do it, he’s tearing down a somewhat well known and beloved piece of property. You may have heard of it — the White House.” — SETH MEYERS

The Punchiest Punchlines (Kool-Aid Man Edition)

“This guy has been taking 15 years to give us a health care plan, but in three and a half days, he’s demolished half the White House.” — MICHAEL KOSTA

“Keep in mind, everyone, this is a rental.” — MICHAEL KOSTA

“And get this: Trump just raised the estimated cost of his new ballroom by $100 million, to a total of $300 million. America is, like, ‘Yeah, it’s nice to know that even the president can get ripped off on renovations.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Speaking of the ballroom, I saw that the White House just released the list of donors giving money to the project. Yeah, Americans heard and were, like, ‘Yeah, still not the list of names we’re looking for, but you’re getting closer.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt pushed back this week against criticism of the East Wing demolition and said that Democrats are just ‘jealous.’ What? The only person jealous of that gaping hole is the Kool-Aid Man.” — SETH MEYERS

“During a meeting yesterday, President Trump said that he has plans to build a glass bridge between the White House and his new ballroom. Well, you’ve got to hand it to him. I mean, even at his age, he’s still looking for new and innovative ways to look up ladies’ dresses.” — SETH MEYERS

The Bits Worth Watching

Jeff Tweedy, frontman for the band Wilco, discussed his new solo album, “Twilight Override,” with Michael Kosta on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”